By Dr. Eliza Helena Ercolin*
In adolescence, most young people start their love life, sometimes with ease, others with suffering. Some because they have many friends, mingle with ease and “stay” and dating appears naturally. Talk, walk, hug and kiss are part of a normal process of knowing one another.
However, there are people shy and reserved, which have almost no friends and limited to few activities. The contact with the opposite sex is unknown and it is frightening. While it appears the desire, appears also fear.
A decade ago, little could be done, but to face the fear or being single. Currently can overcome this obstacle love virtually. The virtual dating can be useful for those who have shame, fear or lack of opportunities, skills training because it allows for a real relationship in future.
Develops and practices the art of flirting, you learn words, tastes and interests of the opposite sex, while helping us to loosen inhibitions and let go of a safer way.
So far so good. The problem arises when one tries and know love virtually. This can demonstrate a more serious difficulty, fear and an inability to cope and live with each other.
This type of virtual flirting is very limited because there is no eye contact, physical and especially, it is possible respect each other or simply delete a small detail that the other party did not even imagine is. In real dating, you learn the sensations arising from contact with the emotions and the body of another, and most importantly, learn to respect it.
Another detail is that in online dating you can pretend to be who you want and others as well, then, difficult you just know you are pleasing or not. In real courtship, you risk more, however, advantage is that the other gives you tips if you are pleasing or not.
For those who “catch” when real dating, or dating in real, the trick is to live with several people of the opposite sex in various situations – the coexistence will bring you more confidence.
* Dr. Eliza Helena Ercolin, brazilian psychologist, master of health psychology